“It’s Not You It’s Me” and Other Womanisms

I love women. I love almost everything about them. I really do. But there are certain things they say and do that make me shake my head. I refer to these head-scratchers as “Womanisms”. I have compiled a list of Womanisms and what they mean…

It’s not you it’s me” means she doesn’t like you and it IS you. This is her feeble attempt of letting you down nicely. How sweet of her…to lie to you. I’d rather a woman just tell me I suck in bed and I smell bad than lie to me. No woman could hurt my ego, no matter what she said.

No it’s fine” means it’s not fine and she’s pissed at you when said angrily. This one drives me crazy. Again, I hate it when a woman lies to me. Just tell me what’s on your mind and I’ll be more than happy to work to make you happy!

We need to take a break” means she’s dumping you and has no intentions of ever getting back to you. She’s taking a lifelong break from you. Perhaps in another lifetime, you’ll resume your relationship.

You go have fun, I’ll just stay home all by myself” means if you go out and have fun, she won’t be there when you get home. Nor will she be there the next day. Or the day after that. She’s going to go out and meet some other guy that won’t leave her home alone on a Friday night.

I don’t want to ruin our friendship” means she’s not attracted to you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends with someone, if she really is attracted to you, she’ll be open to having a romantic relationship with you. Women become friends with men they aren’t attracted to. She’s just too nice to admit the truth to you.

I will come back to your place but I won’t have sex with you” means she wants you to make sweet love to her. In most cases, a woman will not go back to a man’s place if she isn’t willing to have sex or at least fool around. All you have to learn is how to have some game and smooth talk your way into her pants. Her hormones will kick in and she’ll change her mind if you play your cards right.

I’m too busy…” means she’s not into you if you’ve just started dating her. When a woman likes a guy, she finds time for him. It doesn’t matter how busy her schedule is. If she’s into you, she’ll stop what she’s doing or come see you late at night, even if she’s not a night owl.

It’s okay, honey, I can finish myself off” after sex means you suck in bed and she’s pissed off. If you get off before she does and just leave her hanging, eventually she’s going to leave you for a man that knows how to pleasure a woman. Don’t make her have to finish herself off.

Nothing will happen, I promise” in reference to hanging out with her ex means she’s going to sleep with him. That’s just what happens when a girl gets together with the ex. If she didn’t still like him, she wouldn’t feel the need to hangout with him. If she says this, she’s definitely going to cheat on you.